What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

Healing Childhood Wounds with Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Ever feel like you’re at odds with yourself? A part of you is saying " You can do this!" and another saying, "You will fail, don't even try!" IFS believes that different “parts” live inside of us, think of it as our own internal family, where sometimes, like any family, they don’t always see eye to eye. Think about a time you felt torn. Maybe one voice inside said, “Just go for it!” while another urged, “Don’t you dare!” We often dismiss that as being “conflicted,” but really, those are different parts of you — each trying, in its own way, to help or protect you. 

Before we continue, you may be thinking of ways to get rid of some parts that exist within you. This is not the goal of IFS; there is no part of you that is bad, useless, embarassing etc enough that needs to be removed from you. There are No Bad Parts, simply put, there are only parts that are still functioning the way in which is believes it needs to in order to manage, protect and sheild you from pain. 

Lets Keep Looking at Family Systems Therapy.

IFS, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, is a trauma-informed therapeutic approach that views the mind as made up of different “parts” that make up the many versions of you (sub-minds). This is a challenge to the idea of a single mind (mono-mind) These parts are like inner personalities that carry roles, emotions, and memories. For example, one part might be critical to protect you from rejection, while another part may hold sadness or fear from childhood experiences. At the core of IFS is the belief that everyone has a wise, compassionate center called the Self that can lead the healing process.

How Childhood Wounds Show Up in Adults

When children grow up in environments where their needs aren’t fully met, parts of them adapt to survive. A child who feels unsafe may develop a vigilant, anxious part. A child who feels unloved might carry a burden of shame. While these adaptations are protective, as adults they can create challenges like:

• Low self-esteem or harsh inner criticism

• Difficulty trusting others or forming secure relationships

• Emotional overwhelm or numbness

• Anxiety, depression, or persistent feelings of emptiness

If you recognize these struggles, trauma therapy rooted in IFS can help you understand and shift these long-standing patterns.

How IFS Helps Heal Childhood Wounds

IFS provides a gentle, non-pathologizing way to approach these wounds. Instead of trying to suppress or fight against difficult thoughts or feelings, IFS helps us turn toward them with curiosity and compassion.

1. Identifying the Parts: With the therapist’s support, you begin to recognize the different parts of you: such as the inner critic, the perfectionist, or the hurt child within.

2. Listening with Compassion: Instead of pushing these parts away, you connect with them. 

3. Unburdening the Past: Many parts carry the weight of childhood experiences. Through the IFS process, these parts can release their burdens: like shame, fear, or anger, so they no longer dominate your inner and outter world.

4. Rebuilding Inner Trust: As parts learn they are safe now and that your Self can lead with compassion and understanding they begin to relax. This creates more balance, resilience, and inner harmony.

4 Benefits of Getting to Know Yourself with IFS

• Self-Compassion: You learn to approach yourself with kindness and patience. 

• Emotional Relief: Long-held burdens of shame, fear, or anger can soften.

• Healthier Relationships: As you heal inside, your capacity for trust, intimacy, and boundaries grows.

• Wholeness: You no longer feel fragmented but more integrated and at peace.

A Gentle Path to Healing

Healing childhood wounds takes time, patience, and compassion. Through this process, it is possible to transform old pain into new possibilities for connection, resilience, and self-love.

If you are considering IFS therapy, trauma-informed therapy, or want support in healing childhood wounds, please reach out so that we can connect and discuss your therapy goals together : Connect with Kaitlin